Monday, June 13, 2011

june 13: our own: a post revisited

When Josiah YeJoon and I are out and about, it no secret that he and I aren't biologically related. Add in the fact that this tiny town of ours has little to no diversity {I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen people who are not Caucasian}, perhaps you can imagine the stares we get.

People notice us. They smile or comment on how cute Si is. They are curious. They stare. They ask questions.

Today we were at the local drugstore picking up some items. The sweet older checkout lady with a pixie haircut was watching as SiGuy and I chatted and made a few last minute decisions and then walked over to the counter.

"Is he adopted?"

"Yes, we adopted Josiah from Korea."

"Well, if I ever saw a mother and son in love, it is the two of you. You were meant to be."

Tears welled up as I nodded my head and thanked her.

If you see our family together, yes, it is obvious that we not biologically related. But you will also see that we are one. Meant to be. Thick as thieves. Cut from the same cloth. A perfect match.

And very much in love.

the three of us 1
the three of us 3
the three of us 4
the three of us 2

The following words are from a post I wrote over two years ago - before we even knew who our little one was. I thought of it today and wanted to share it again. Now that Si is home, the feelings behind the words are intensified. There is a truth in them that I am blessed to know.

There are always, always going to be naysayers, but they are heavily outweighed by lovely people like the kind checkout lady we met this afternoon.


When I share the news with people that we are adopting, I am greeted with a number of responses.

The majority are excited and ask questions and want to know more - like so many of you. There are some that simply say "Congrats". And yet there are a few who tell us "How nice", but then add the comment "Maybe someday you'll have one of your own."

Whether they say this out of pity or ignorance, I do not know. Do they not realize those words are like a stab to the heart? And bring out my protective Mama instincts - big time!

If only they could look into our hearts.
They would understand....

....that this child could not be any more our own.

....that adoption is not 2nd choice, 2nd best.

....that I give thanks for each and every one of those months that we did not get pregnant. Because without them, we would not be on this journey at this time to this child, our child.

....that I am the one who feels sorry for them, for they will never know the miracle of adoption.

....that I can say without hesitation that this child is the child our hearts have desired since the day we were married.

....that I could not have planned our journey to parenthood any more perfectly. That I wouldn't change a single thing.

....that we are humbled by God's gifts and plan for us.

....that we are giddy with excitement.

....that even though I have not seen our child's face or felt his kicks or heard his little heartbeat, the love I have for our child is beyond measure.

....that the love I already have for our baby takes my breath away.

....that even if I said all of this, there certainly are not enough words to describe how Josh and I feel.

But, unfortunately, they cannot see into our hearts.

So please pray that we have the grace to answer such comments with God-pleasing answers. That their eyes & hearts will be opened.

Thank you for following the journey to our child. We are so blessed.


  1. I love this! Do you mind if I link to it on my blog?

  2. tears just welled up here too!!
    i love that check-out lady...and how happy she made you feel today!!

  3. Rachel~ this is such a beautiful post!!! I love it!!! So well said !!! And thank you to the check out lady in a small town!!!

  4. I would like to hug that lady.

    I found people to be rude sometimes when they would ask me if Elizabeth was adopted. Our first congregation - ppl who joined after she came to our home thought I must of been married before or had a child out of wedlock. Come on people.
    Could they not see like the store clerk did?
    This lady is awesome!!

  5. That check-out lady rocks! I've been processing some heavy adoption-related conversations myself recently. AND Spencer's reaction to them. So much for him being naive to that... So this post was very timely and MUCH appreciated.

  6. Three cheers for the check out lady! After so much garbage that we hear the nice comments carry even more weight. I love revisiting that old post! I remember the original time. I may steal some of those lines in the future when talking to people.

  7. I got so nervous about what the checkout lady was going to say ... and then how lovely it turned out to be! Yay for people who get it. Rachel, I didn't have the privilege of knowing you back in Jan '09 so I'm very, very glad you reposted this blog post. So much of it I can relate to and, as usual, you said it so much better than I ever could have!

  8. rachel, this is just so, so beautiful. you have such a way with words...thank you for reposting this for those of us that didn't have the privilege for reading it the first time!

  9. I remember that original post...but loved reading it again today. Thank you.

    Hooray for the check-out lady. Wow! It is a mixed bag with comments people make. I think most of the time they are good, but occasionally people say stupid, hurtful things.

    Last night we entered unchartered waters with D. A friend of his at school is soon to be a big brother (his mama is pregnant). D asked me where L's baby brother is. I said in his mama's tummy. Blank stare...then questioning look. I explained babies grow in mamas' tummies. He pointed to my tummy. Whoa. I took a deep breath. I explained he grew in his birth mama's tummy...and then was born...and then went to live with his FM...and then home with us. He smiled. I had tears in my eyes and looked at my husband. Here we go.

  10. you have the best way of capturing your feelings. i love reading your posts. they are not only inspiring but so very spot on. i love this post and would give that check out lady a big hug if i saw her!!



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